Cineast

N. - one who takes artistic interest in motion pictures

Why Life Would be So Much Cooler As A Movie

1. Important life events would all occur in a neatly packaged 90-120 minute story line.

2. No one would ever have a "slum" day where they throw on yesterday's jeans and the first sweatshirt they find. This would be due to having extensive wardrobe coordinators on hand, ready to assist at a moment's notice.

3. Laws regarding physics, gravity, and basic scientific principles would not be concrete.

4. We'd be able to go to a galaxy, far, far away.

5. Your best friend would be Keira Knightley and your boyfriend would be Brad Pitt.

6. You could spend one day as a pirate, the next as a revolutionary, and then spend some time as a high schooler with too much money and devishly good lucks.

7. College would simply be an opportunity to socialize, go on crazy road trips, party, and seemingly never have class, homework, or a lack of cash funds.

8. Relationships issues would seem so much more humorous and entertaining.

9. You'd see car chases everywhere.

10. We'd have a global disaster every few months. However, we'd be saved by Will Smith.

11. Those weird goth kids in school really WOULD be vampires.

12. No one would ever get STD's as a result of countless, risky sexual encounters, often accompanied by druge use and binge drinking.

13. All high schoolers would somehow look 25, but really only be 17.

14. Bad hair day's wouldn't exist.

15. Your boyfriend would actually be a superhero in disguise, he'd rescue countless number of times. You'd never question how he always knew where you were.

16. Having kung fu skills and the ability to kill an entire room of armed men without messing up your hair would be completely normal.

17. Your life would have a soundtrack composed by John Williams.

18. There would be an island of dinosaurs you could visit. Just don't be there when the power shuts off.

19. You'd be able to find James Bond at a bar with a martini, if you simply looked hard enough (and I would... Daniel Craig is gorgeous).

20. Everyone would be part of an ancient secret society somewhere, somehow.

21. You'd have the option to take the blue pill or red pill for real.

22. Everyone would have a Mac book.

23. You'd never visit a Bed and Breakfast, for fear a creepy clown on a creeky tricycle had rigged up to be a torture chamber.

24. Every enemy, bad guy, or monster, would conviently have one weakness that would be easily exploitable.

25. Every story would have a happy ending, somehow.