Gowpen

N. A double handful


So... I didn't know what to blog about. And if you remember my previous blog "Brontide" in February, you know that when I'm stumped, I Google. In fact today I had an astounding number of google searches for various items I didn't know, but that's a different topic entirely...

And so the Google began....

"blog topics" ..... Results 1 - 10 of about 172,000,000 for blog topics. (0.22 seconds)

Holy Cannoli.

Fourth from the top, I discovered...

http://www.darrenbarefoot.com/archives/2007/09/55-more-blog-posts-i-hope-you-write.html

I love these topics! I stopped at each item and instantly had a thought pertaining to the topic suggested, talk about a muse!

So, without further ado, #1 The Story of My Most Serious Injury

I laughed when I read this. Mostly because, I am known as being a complete klutz. I have zero grace, coordination, or dexterity. Despite that, I could not think of a single serious injury I've ever had. How lucky am I? Not to say that I haven't been without my injuries but I would not label any of them in the category of serious. So instead, here's my top 5 klutziest moments that may/may not have ended in injury...

5. Cross Country camping trip (2004): We went on yearly camping trips as a team to a state park in Rockford where we would do daily runs on the trails, then clown around the rest of the day. I had been running with some people and they decided to head back. I wanted to get in a few extra minutes so I kept going. Mistake #1. As I was running, I started getting paranoid wondering if animals, or a human, were going to attack me. That is after all, how it happens in horror movies. Which leads me to Mistake #2, looking up from the ground and frantically searchign the passing bushes for my attacker. And that's when it happened, I tripped on a log which sent me flying through the air. I then landed with my knee square on, the sharpest rock I've ever seen. I did a triple take thinking I had landed on an arrowhead.

**The image I am about to describe might be too graphic for small children or those uncomfortable with blood and other gross things. You've been warned.**

And THAT's when I saw the blood. It was everywhere, my leg, shoe, the ground. I pity whomever passed that spot after I left, they probably became very concerned for their well-being, as it looked like someone had been murdered there. Being the extremely logical and rational person I am, I did not freak out. I know I had approximately 2.5 miles back to camp, so I did what any tough-as-nails cross country runner would do. I ran back. This little jaunt would easily make my list of top 5 worst runs ever. It was hilly and uneven terrain and getting very hot and humid outside. I was miserable, but just when I thought I could not make it any further, I emerged from the woods. As I saw the look of horror on my coach's face, I suddenly realized what I must have looked like. A bloody, sweaty, dirty mess. Before he could have a full on aneurysm I yelled to him I was ok, I had just tripped and needed a Band-Aid. He laughed as he tried to find a band-aid big enough to cover the gaping wound.

Injuries sustained gaping wound in knee (scar still present), loss of right to run by myself. Ever.

4. Juneau Street (2007)- When I got invited to go with a group of people out for dollar burgers at a local establishment, my freshmen year of college (Spring), I was ridiculously excited. I am not sure why, but it was the first outing I had been invited to in awhile, so I was really looking forward to it. Plus I did not know most of the people, and I was looking forward to meeting a bunch of new people. You all know me, and my love of making new friends :).

I took an extra few minutes to dress up before they picked me up. Everyone introduced themselves to me and off we went, walking towards our destination. We were walking down a hill and I was demonstrating some wicked dance move I had seen on TV. As I went to complete the jump-turn-sashay, I suddenly realized I was no longer touching the ground, worse, I was staring at the ground as I was catapulting down the hill.

I come to rest about 10 feet from my original point of departure. As I recovered I recognized the sound of my 6 new friends dying of hysterics, tears streaming down their face. I had no other option but to laugh as well, because it truly had been a ridiculous fall. But I didn't mention the best part. My outfit I had so carefully picked out? A miniskirt. Yep.

Injuries sustained scrapes, bruises, and the knowledge that my new friends may/may not have seen some articles of clothing typically reserved for my eyes only.


3. My House (Year Unknown, but probably in the 1999-2002 range): My grandmother and mother were sitting out on the deck talking. I thought I would join them. I started running down the hall and then out the door.

The door was made of glass.

Have you ever seen a bird hit a window and fall to the ground only to sit there stunned for a few minutes before slowly hobbling away? That was me.

My grandmother and mother took twice as long to recover from the shock and also, the effects of hysterical laughter.

Injuries sustained were slightly slowed mental processes for the next several hours. And a bruised ego.


2. Cross Country Practice (2003): It was picture day for Cross Country, why I remember that, I have no idea. In any case, afterward, our coach decided we would have practice as well. JV was supposed to do the 2 mile warm up loop, then he'd let us know what to do next. In typically cross form, we decided to make the warm up more interesting by singing the entire way.

So there we are running down Wilson Street, directly across from the old public library, when out of nowhere a very large stick jumps in front of us. Gabby and Amy, my running buddies on either side of me, were able to divert onto the grass, but I was stuck, hopelessly in the path of the oncoming stick. The vicious stick attacks my feet and drags me down with it. I hit the pavement face first.

As I'm getting up I notice a car has pulled up along side us, thinking some well-meaning citizen wished to offer assistance, I brushed off myself off and went over to talk talk to the driver. Then I noticed the car was a gray Toyota Camry, very similar looking to my dad's car. And the driver bore a striking resemblence to Mr. Madaus himself. And he was laughing hysterically. And then he said, "Your a klutz, see you at home..By the way, your mother is going to love this story.." That well-meaning citizen sure was an @$$. :) :) :)

Injuries sustained, bruised ego, sore nose, and psychological trauma of perpetual teasing by parents...

1. My top klutziest moment actually consists of three separate occasions that all resulted in the same injury. So individually, they may not be all that klutzy but the fact they all occurred to me in one lifetime is a bit entertaining....

First Incident: Running around the kitchen to win control of the remote over my brother, I stub my pinky toe on the kitchen table. It breaks and I need to tape it for a month until it heals.

Second Incident (6 Months later): While playing on a jungle gym, I decided to hang from my legs from the top. I slip off and smack my foot on a metal bar. Rebreak same pinky toe. Must be taped for a very long time.

Third Incident (A few years later): While walking in downtown Milwaukee, arms full of books, I notice a squirrel staring at me. It freaks me out a little, as facts about rabies circle around in my head. I walk a little faster, when the squirrel hops along after me. I break out into a light jog, the squirrel picks up speed. All of a sudden the squirrel jumps in my direction, I do a little skip-hop-jump to avoid his talons and fangs, when I stub my toe on the raised sidewalk. Toe and foot is so swollen I go to the doctor, they take X-rays and ask if i had prior trauma to the area. It has healed so haphazardly they say it will never be straight. I have to wear an ugly shoe to keep it straight for a week, then tape it for several more weeks.

Injuries sustained maimed toe and a perpetual fear/hatred of squirrels.



I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it :) It's true that time heals most wounds, and I most certainly got a good laugh out of this....

Always,
K